My aunt got engage a few month ago. Her family forced her to engage with an old man, since my grandma was so poor, an old man who was a commander of a radical group, his name was Ahmadi, he was spending his life in battlefield as a fighter. Ahmadi had two grown daughters and one son from his pervious wife, he recommended to my grandma to give one of his daughter to my uncle and take Hanifa (my aunt) as his wife, also he was offering a big money to my grandma as well, because, my aunt Hanifa is so beautiful so this old man wanted Hanifa badly. But Hanifa was just sixteen years old, she hated Ahmadi (the old man) whenever her family was talking about her marriage with Ahmadi, she was crying and say no I don’t want to marry… but her family didn’t pay attention to her idea, because the old man’s money was so tempting for my grandma and my uncle. Therefore, they engaged by force, after engagement Hanifa was always crying because she hated the old man badly! But she couldn’t do anything, she had to obey her family, and her family was beating her regularly for her disobedience to reject Ahmadi as her husband. Since I love her so much, I was thinking 24 to 7 that how I can help her, but it seemed impossible for me to help her! I was thinking what if we escape together from Afghanistan? But Afghanistan was full of militants, radical groups and Taliban, I thought what if Taliban catch us and separate us and do whatever they want? Or other radical groups… because she was so beautiful and young! So, it seemed impossible for us to escape together from Afghanistan, it was in my mind what if I buy a boy’s clothes for her and then we can escape as two boys? But still we were in danger because she was just a girl, the militants or Taliban could have realized her even into boy’s clothes. On the other hand, I couldn’t tolerate her tears! Her eyes were red because what she could do was cry nothing else!
Hanifa is not the first and nor the last victim of this force marriage in Afghanistan. Because, Islam allows men to get married with girls 9 years old and above, that’s why it exists in Afghanistan such a long time. For instance, when my dad was 55 years old, he got married with 13 years old girl, I remember the engagement party of my dad with the young girl, my dad had cooked a lot of food for his engagement party, and he invited a lot of his friends, relatives, and acquaintances, to his party but there was a serious problem! The relatives of young girl were claiming that the girl was engaged with her cousin at her childhood, but my dad didn’t accept their claim, so there was a kind of fighting about the young girl, her relatives brought their guns to force my dad to obey them whatever they say, but my dad wasn’t alone, our relatives and dad’s friends brought their guns to defend my dad! This fighting could have many casualties, because both sides were powerful, but thanks God there were some elders who reached to an agreement, that both sides have to go to court tomorrow, but my dad was so confident, because he was a handsome man and seductive, I mean he was so good at seducing girl and women, that’s why he was quite confident before he go to court and there was another possibility, my dad could have paid a big money to her family that her family force her to marry with my dad. Dad’s friends and our relatives were worried for going to court tomorrow! Because her cousin was so young, many people thought the winner will be the cousin in this case. Finally, they went to court, the judge asked three time from this young girl that which one do you prefer to get married the old man who was my dad or your cousin? She said three times that I want to marry the old man. On the contrary the winner was my dad in this case, many became shocked about her answer, because people didn’t expect that, I didn’t know what my dad had done to this poor young girl, but it seemed she was happy to get married with my dad.
My dad wanted to get married as soon as possible, but he didn’t have money. Because, in Afghanistan if a man wants to marry, he must pay a big amount of money to his father in law! It’s approximately two or three years of a full paycheck of a grown man. Therefore, my dad mortgaged his entire of his land and home to someone else, then he rent his own land back, so my dad had to pay a big money to that guy whom he rent his own land per year. He got a big money and got married with this young girl. My dad was so happy and proud of his marriage, because my stepmom was so beautiful and young! But my stepmom was facing new challenges at our home, especially at winter because my dad stopped going to Kabul at winter after his marriage. So, my poor stepmom didn’t know what to do with these five naughty children? In fact, she herself was a child as well, that’s why controlling of us wasn’t easy for her. Whenever, my dad was outside, we used to fight a lot! She was confused and sometimes cry, so I believe my stepmom had a tough time with us! Moreover, my dad was an old man and he was too much worried about her, he didn’t let her go to her family or if we have had a young man as a guest my dad was hiding her and didn’t let her to see the young guest, I believe my dad was worried that someone might seduce her… she couldn’t go anywhere nor visit anyone even woman! She had to stay in home all day long and night, also she was baking, laundering, and cleaning the home.
This year for the first time my dad sold me as a worker not shepherd. There was a rich guy his name was Chaman Baghal, and my dad made a contract with Chaman, my paycheck became double this year, because worker has harder job than shepherd! But my plan was something else, I wasn’t going to work for Chaman this year! So, before I go to Chaman’s home, I asked my dad is it possible I go to visit my aunt for a few days? Since, my dad was quite happy about the money which he was going to take from Chaman about my paycheck, he told me: son you can visit your aunt one week and then go to Chaman home, I replied ok dad thanks… two of my aunts lived quite far from us, almost 8-9 hours. My family knew that I’m going to stay at my aunt’s home one week, my only sister(Fatima) was learning broidery from my aunt Hanifa, so my sister gave me a little money in order to bring her embroidery yarn on my way back next week, I didn’t want to take her money because I knew that I won’t comeback home again! But I had to take her money, otherwise my dad could understand… anyway I took her money and promised to her that I will bring embroidery yarn next week on my way for you, Fatima was so excited and she gave me several colors of embroidery yarn, examples and said that how much each color she wants… I loved Fatima so much, I didn’t want to hurt her feeling. But there wasn’t another alternative for me, I knew how hard it was for Fatima to safe this little money for long time! She gave me all her money and said to me that buy embroidery yarn and give me back the rest of the money, I promised her that I will do it.
My journey began. I asked Hanifa my money, Hanifa and I went further from our village, somewhere that anybody couldn’t see us, then she gave my money and I placed it on my stomach and tied it with something, afterward we hugged each other and started to cry, we knew that we won’t see each other for long time or never! We cried a lot and then she kissed me, I looked to her eyes, they were red and full of tears! I said goodbye so did she, we started to cry more! We looked each other for the last time, and I left her behind which was one of the hardest moments of my life! We were waving each other until we were seeing each other, when she disappeared from my sight I sat down and started to cry again for a while, I thought what a miserable guy I am! Even though, I knew what she was facing in her life, but I couldn’t help her in anyway. Because, I knew what she had been through, what was she facing now with the old man, who was going to be her husband, and handling his children… Since, I love Hanifa so much, leaving her behind me was really hard! Finally, I stood and went to Waras where Ali my brother was there as shepherd in someone’s home. I arrived Waras after 5-6 hours, I walked to Waras, I wanted to see Ali for the last time, there were some men who were making bridge, I wanted to asked about Ali’s boss, then I saw Ali accidentally, he was there among the men who were making the bridge, Ali and another man were carrying a tree which they just cut it down, Ali couldn’t control the tree it fell down, the guy who was in charge there came and slapped and kicked Ali badly! Ali was crying he was just a teen almost 12 years old, he was there as a shepherd but his boss was a cruel man, he used Ali as a worker, which wasn’t fair, because the guy paid for a shepherd not worker, but he force Ali to work for him instead of shepherding. But Ali didn’t see me yet, I was thinking what should I do? If I fight with this guy the one who beat Ali, what would be the consequences? If we fought the police could have caught us, and we would face a serious issue, it could continue a month, I didn’t have time for that, I had to leave Afghanistan in a few days.
I made my decision to ignore the fighting. I pretended that I didn’t see the guy who beat my brother Ali, which wasn’t easy for me though! I left there for a while and then came back, and called Ali we talked for almost 15 minutes, I didn’t tell him that I’m going to Iran, but I comforted him as a big brother” afterward said goodbye to each other, I left him and went to an inn in the small local market at the night. Tomorrow at early in the morning I woke up and continue my journey walking through jungle, desert, wilderness, mountains and valleys by myself, it was scary for several reasons, someone could have taken my money, I was hiding it on my belly though, or pederasts, also militants and Taliban, so danger was there anywhere for me as a teen! But still I had my sharp knife and a piece of bread on my back, I didn’t need water to carry because in spring season the valleys are full of water. There was no car, I had to walk 8-9 hours every day, because there was a possibility for my dad to understand that I didn’t go to my aunt home as I promised him, for instance, my aunt’s husband could have gone to our home and for sure my dad would ask him about me, whether I was in my aunt’s home or not, so if my dad could understand about my lie he would search me anywhere, and maybe he caught me… therefore, I was going as fast as I could! I was thinking that my dad is looking for me anywhere and he is coming after me, whenever I was thinking about my dad and his anger my speed became faster automatically! That’s why I was walking hours every day as fast as I could. But there was a serious issue about my feet after a few days, my feet were full of calluses I couldn’t walk as fast as before now!
Finally, I found some passengers who were going to Iran as well. Now I was so happy because I wasn’t alone anymore, on the way through mountains, valleys, wilderness and desert. We were a group but I was the youngest one among them, and the weakest! They were all grown men, and strong for walking, I was trying my best to walk with them during the day, but it was scary to sleep among them during the night into inn… one day accidentally I found an old man who was our relative, so it was good for me to have someone who protects me now. So, somehow we were helping each other, for instance, during the night I could help him, because he couldn’t see at night properly, I was finding his shoes and water whenever he was going out for urination, in majority parts of Afghanistan people carry water into ewer for washing their private areas, that’s why I had to carry water into ewer for old man in order he washes himself during the night.
Therefore, we reached an agreement, I called him dad and he called me his son, when people thought I’m with my dad they didn’t dare to do something wrong to me! I was sleeping close to him during the night, and feeling safe from pederasts, but there was a serious problem! Which I didn’t have enough money, the old man asked me: how much money do you have? I replied him 14,000 because I ate the rest already, he was thinking for a while, then he told me that you can’t come with us to Iran, he explained for me that if you want to go Iran, you need at least 150,000 Afghani, the old man who was our relative, suggested me make a contract with someone, and be as a shepherd until fall and then come to Iran with the paycheck you get from shepherding. But I couldn’t do it because, my dad could have found me during 7 months. So, some people in the group understood that I don’t have money, they were saying that don’t come with us, go back because you have a little money, and you will be in big terrible if you continue further… I told them let me continue with you guys until I can, because they were a great help for me! On the other hand, I was trying my best to spend as less money as possible, for instance, whenever, they were eating in a restaurant or inn, I didn’t get food, I used to take a piece of bread and ate it with water, or if someone’s food left a little I ate it hiddenly, it was a great shame for me though! Moreover, when they were eating delicious food, it was really tempting for me! But since I didn’t have money, so had to ignore it, which wasn’t easy for me as a teen to ignore those yummy food, if someone asked me why you don’t buy food? My excuse was like this” I’m sick and my doctor told me not eat food which contain oil, which was absolutely a lie, I wasn’t sick at all! It was a great shame for me if I told them that I don’t have money to buy food for myself.
Since, were going to Iran illegally, we needed a smuggler, so they found one, his name was Ebrahim Tilfar, he was a famous smuggler in Hazarajat! They all talked with Ebrahim about the fee and gave 50% of his money right away and it was supposed to give the rest of his money when they arrive at their destinations, I was the only one who didn’t talk with him, Ebrahim asked me: what about you boy? I didn’t say anything and looked down on the ground, because I didn’t have money, I just saw all people gave money to him, I was looking down and nothing to have to say! And the tear circled in my eyes, because I really wanted to escape from Afghanistan, but I didn’t know how to say it to him, he asked from my groupmates: what is wrong with this boy? One of my groupmates explained for him that this boy doesn’t have money… but he wants to go Iran, he asked me again: do you have any relative in Iran? I said yes, I have an aunt in there, and he said do you know her address? I said yes, I do, I had heard she lives in Qarchak, but I didn’t know that Qarchak is a big city! Ebrahim laughed at me and said it is a big town which contains thousands of people, how we will find her? I was confused, I didn’t know what to say? The smuggler asked again, do you know anyone in this group? I said yes, I know the old man, he said okay he might help us to find your aunt over there. Moreover, he told me don’t worry I will take you to your aunt and she will pay my money.
I couldn’t find the word to say thanks to Ebrahim, I was about to cry, because I was so happy about the agreement with Ebrahim! Then he explained for me about the fee, he said there are two kinds of fee, one is 240,000 Iranian Rial, Rial was the currency of Iran, which is young men, who are going through mountains, valley, desert, wilderness and jungle, they must walk majority of the way… the second fee is for families and old men, about 300,000 Iranian Rial, then Ebrahim asked me, which group do you want to join? I replied the first group which was cheaper, because I wasn’t sure that I could find my aunt in Tehran, and I was worried about this amount of money! That’s why I had chosen the cheaper but the harder one. But Ebrahim had doubt about me, he asked me are you sure to join the young men? He explained that these young men are going to walk hours during day and sometimes night, are you able to do it? And if you cannot continue with them, they will leave you at wilderness behind themselves! I accepted the hardship of cheaper group. Because, there were several questions in my mind, what if I can’t find my aunt? What if she doesn’t have this amount of money? And what if her husband doesn’t want to give this money? But on the other hand, I was so happy that Ebrahim accepted me without paying any money beforehand! Still I had a little bit money.
but I wasn’t sure whether it was enough for my eating or not, however eating wasn’t important for me anymore, since I understood that I’m able to escape from Afghanistan with this little money, it was everything for me! Now we were almost 300 in the group, who were escaping from Taliban and war in Afghanistan. Therefore, Ebrahim Tilfar our smuggler divided in two groups, one group was young men a hundred something, another was the families and elders. Ebrahim had some assistants, he divided his assistants among these two groups, it was supposed to Ebrahim’s assistants lead our group through valley, mountains, wilderness, and jungle in a right direction, they knew the way very well, after a few days walking through wilderness, we were in an inn during the night, in the morning they brought some pickup trucks, we ridded each of the truck as much as possible! We were passing a big desert, which is quite big and we had to pass it, but majority of the time the weather was rainy, it made the ground muddy, the pickup truck couldn’t carry us, so majority of the time we had to push the truck, in fact we were carrying the truck, it was funny.
It was almost evening; we couldn’t continue anymore. we were exhausted, hungry and thirsty, we had been challenging all day long pushing the truck and walking through mud. Finally, we arrived to an inn at the middle of the desert, and we went into the inn, we ate and drank, then slept, tomorrow early in the morning we got up and started again, but last night there wasn’t rain, so we were happy about it, we didn’t push the truck as much as yesterday, we passed the desert. There was a base from a militant group, it was a kind of checkpoint, I had heard that the militants are looking for teen who are alone, send them back or train them for fighting, which was so scary for me, I covered my face with turban and just they could see my eyes, which was so common in Afghanistan for boys and men, my heart was beating so fast, I was half dead, I thought they won’t let me go, their faces were covered with turbans, they all had Kalashnikov.
The militants were asking a big money each vehicle. for passing the checkpoint, also they asked where are you going? Some of us replied them that we are going to Pakistan for medical issues or visiting our relatives, somehow it was true, those days we didn’t have a good hospital or enough beds inside of Afghanistan, for hospitalizing patients, because the numbers of casualties and injuries were high, due to domestic war. Moreover, many people who were able to escape to another country, they were escaping from Afghanistan. Therefore, majority of the doctors had been leaving Afghanistan, they were going other countries to safe themselves and their families, that’s why we didn’t have enough doctor inside of Afghanistan. Anyway, we collected money and paid the militants, but the problem not only this checkpoint, we had to pay several checkpoints every day, because, there were different militant groups in Afghanistan in the time. So, each militant group had checkpoint in their territory, majority of their income came from checkpoints, there wasn’t regulation about amount of the money that they were getting from those poor passengers, whatever, they demand, we had to pay! Then we used to share the amount of money among ourselves, each of us had to pay his share, which was a disaster for me with little money I had.
We arrived in Pakistan. There is a place in Pakistan, its name is Quetta, where many Hazara tribe live, they have been coming since long time ago from Afghanistan. Basically, they escaped from Afghanistan, because of persecution by majority. So, our smuggler brought us in Quetta, we had been there for short time, then Ebrahim moved us toward Iran, we went to Taftan where is so close to Iran’s border, it was so hot there, the water was salty, and there was a strong dust storm majority of time. We had been there for a while, we changed our money to Iranian Rial, I had 5000 Iranian Rial now. Somehow, we knew that there are many robbers (muggers) on the border between Pakistan and Iran, also they told us that take water a bread for a few days, because, you are going through jungle, mountain, valley, and wilderness, there is nothing that you can buy, drink or food. Therefore, I bought a four-liter yellow bottle for water, it was not possible for someone to see inside of it from outside. So, I took water into my bottle, and I put my 5000, Iranian Rial into a plastic then tied it carefully and put it into bottle water, I thought this is a good way have my money with me. Moreover, I was thinking if the muggers come and search my packets, they wouldn’t find my money because it’s in the water, I thought it’s the best way to have my money after robbery. I bought some naan as well, now we were ready to go toward the mountain of Merjawa.
They brought some pickup trucks again. The vehicles carried us close the mountainous area, then we started to walk, we were climbing mountain for hours, there was a valley at the top of the mountain. So, we were tired, and sitting there for a while to have a rest, some strangers showed up from somewhere with Kalashnikovs, they were in different spots, we were surrounded by these guys who were armed. We were more than 300 young men as passengers now, because our number was increasing every day, the number of armed guys were almost ten. They collected us in one spot, some of them came among us, one of them announced that take our your money and other belongings put them on the fabric which they prepared already, and after ten minutes we ourselves are going to search your packets, if we find something in your packets or anywhere of your bodies, we will kill you, three of them were aiming us from different spots, the rest were among us now. We started to take our money and belongings outside of our packets and put them on the squire fabric, which was there, after about ten minutes, we were done. They asked us to sit down, and they themselves started searching our packets and bodies, they were sending those who finished searching of their packets in different spots. After a while they found some money from someone’s body, they started to beat him badly, his face and clothes became bloody, then took him behind the rocks, we could hear his scream very loudly, they found a few other guys who hided their money somewhere in their bodies, they did the same to these guys as the first one. Afterward, they gave another ten minutes to us for bringing our money and stuffs on the fabric, this time there were many who brought their money out and gave it to muggers! After ten minutes, they started again searching our packets and bodies, but this time they couldn’t find much money from our bodies. What I mean about our bodies, well there were some who hided their money in different parts of their bodies, put inside of under wear, tie it somewhere on their bodies, shoes, socks, and hat… after approximately an hour they took everything we had! When they were done, they kicked our asses and freed us and forced us to run as fast as we could, if some of us couldn’t run fast, they beat him badly, after approximately 10-15 minutes they stopped chasing us, they went back.
We had lost everything. Now we didn’t have any water, bread, food, money, and extra clothes. The only thing we had it was the clothe on ourselves! The robbers had beaten those who were trying to hide their money badly, there was a guy who had lost a lot of money, his condition wasn’t good, as I had heard this guy lost a big money and his injuries were quite serious. We continued our way through the mountains, it was around 5 P.M. the assistants of Ebrahim collected us in one spot, then one of them explained about coming night. He said that tonight we have to walk and pass this desert, which we could see now, he told us when the weather get dark we are going to start, and you must be so careful about police cars, whenever you see the police car, lie down as soon as possible, otherwise police will catch all of us. We rested a little bit, the weather got dark, we started to walk through desert, there were some roads through desert, sometimes vehicles were passing, we had to lie down, until it passes. It was approximately 01 A.M. we were tired, hungry, and thirsty, some of us asked for a rest, but the smugglers didn’t let to have a rest, they told us that we have a long way to go, and we must pass this desert, otherwise police is going to catch us in the morning. Therefore, we continued with all strength we had, because catching by police would be a disaster for each of us! But the good point was that we all had one goal, escape from Afghanistan, go to Iran illegally, which made us united. Unfortunately, the guy who had lost a big money wasn’t able to continue by himself, there were two nice guys, they took his arms and help him for a while, his condition was getting worse, even though these two guys were helping him, but still he had problem. Finally, we reached to a valley, there was some floodwater passing, probably there was rain on the mountain, that’s why we had this floodwater. Since, we were so thirsty, we started to drink it, it’s test was exactly as dust, but we didn’t care, we drank as much as we could, and washed our faces, we rested for a short time, then started going forward, but the guy who wasn’t in a good condition, he couldn’t continue, he stayed in side of jungle, there were some who encouraged him to continue, but he said it’s impossible for me to continue, unfortunately we had to leave him behind alone.
The weather still was dark. We arrived at another mountain range, we went somewhere which wasn’t possible for cars or motorcycles to come there, we were exhausted, hungry, and thirsty. The guiders told us that you can rest in here, we slept, when I woke up it was almost noon. I heard from someone that we must wait until the weather get dark. So, we waited the weather got dark, there were some guys who brought some bread and water for us, which wasn’t enough at all, but good to get a little bit energy! Afterward we started to move forward again, it was approximately midnight, we arrived to a bridge, they told us sit under the bridge, we were under the bridge about an hour, then they asked us to come out, when we came out and saw a truck, they asked go into truck, we went as much as we could, we were more than a hundred, into one truck, then the smuggler asked us to stand and hands up, they told us that we are going to count until three, you must sit at the same time, we did it several times, but it didn’t work, because our numbers were so high! Finally, we did it but it was really hard to sit with pressure, we had to squeezed ourselves as much as possible. So, the truck was continuing, but our feet got numb after hours sitting on our feet, in that pressure. The had told us is one of you stand, police will catch all of you, if someone wanted to stand, other were beating him! And fighting with him, because there was a possibility that we were caught by police.
It was almost noon. We were in the city; we couldn’t see but we could hear the car’s horn and see the lampposts. Therefore, it was scary for us! Because, they explained for us when we get to city, don’t move and don’t make any noise, if you do it would be so dangerous for all, we couldn’t cough, if we had to, we kept our mouths. The truck stopped somewhere in the city; we were as quiet as possible! But after a while, there was someone, who was climbing the truck, we were half dead! We thought he is the police, who climbing the truck. It took sometimes, we all were looking at that spot where someone was climbing the truck and we couldn’t take our breath! Then we saw a head on the top of the truck, it was just a kid, when he saw more than 200 eyes were looking at him, he screamed badly! Then fell from the top of the truck! We couldn’t control our laugh now, but we couldn’t laugh loudly! Since, the truck was for carrying the goods, I believe those poor kids were thinking of some kinds of fruit into the truck, probably they expected delicious stuffs to eat, I used to steal some fruit or nuts from top of the truck sometimes, that’s why I think those poor kids were trying to steal something delicious from the truck, but they were facing more than a hundred grown men this time.
The truck started to move again. Therefore, we were happy now, finally, we arrived to an old palace somewhere, the smugglers opened the door of the truck, and asked us to come out of it, but we couldn’t walk at the beginning! Because, our feet were numb, we went into the old palace, and I found the old man my relative there again, I was quite happy about it! they brought bread and water, we ate and drank as much as we could! Because, we didn’t eat and drink for long time! Now we could take shower, but we didn’t have clothes to change. So, we took shower one by one, but wore the same clothes which were full of lice and dirt! We had been there for a while, then they brought another truck and we rode on the truck, but fewer people this time. We had to sit inside of the truck as before, but we had to walk and pass the police stations during the night through wilderness, jungle, valley and mountain, we had to pass the police stations during the night, the truck went from road, we had to walk from somewhere behind of police stations, sometimes it took hours. Finally, we arrived to Jadasawa, where the old man’s relatives lived, I was there for one night, there was someone who knew my aunt’s address, tomorrow at early in the morning, we went to my aunt’s home, it was quite far, we were on the way a couple of hours, but I didn’t know how to get into a car or get off of it, on the other hand the guy who was taking me to my aunt’s home was so worried about police, because, in Iran it’s so common that police asks ID from afghans migrants! Moreover, police in Iran can recognize afghan migrants easily, because majority of afghan migrant are Hazara; they have Almond eyes shaped. So, their faces are absolutely different from Iranian people, that’s why police catch them easily. Since, this guy was the brother of old man, he was worried about me, if police caught me my aunt wouldn’t give money to him. So, the old man was in trouble, because the smuggler knew him, somehow the poor old man was my guarantor, even I didn’t know how to walk in a crowded city, this guy was trying his best to explain for me, but it wasn’t easy for me to learn how to walk, get into car and off of it in a short time. Finally, we arrived at my aunt’s place.
The guy who brought me to my aunt his name is Musa. When Musa told to my aunt that who am I she was so happy, she cried for a while. Therefore, Musa explained about 240,000 Iranian Rial, which I had to pay to Ebrahim Tilfar, my aunt talked with her husband, after a few hours they brought the money, and gave it to Musa, Musa was so happy that he had done his mission, took the money and didn’t let down his brother(the old man) anyway Musa had left. Now, I was so happy that I arrived at my aunt! She is really kind to me. She had understood that I needed to go to bath and change my clothes immediately! Because, my clothes were so dirty. But, there was a problem, she didn’t have money to buy clothes for me, she knew someone, when she talked with friend, the friend brought some second handed clothes for me, I went to bath washed myself and changed the clothes. My clothe which I brought from Afghanistan had a lot of lice! My aunt couldn’t find a solution for it to get rid of its lice, so she throws it away, I didn’t have enough clothe though. My aunt had two daughters and two sons, one of her daughters is almost in my age, her name is Fatima. My shoes were not useable as well, but my aunt’s daughter Fatima had a per of sneakers, from previous year, my aunt brought it brought the sneakers for me to try it, it was too small for me, but I told my aunt that it fits. Because, knew that she just paid a big money to Ebrahim Tilfar, they browed some of that money as I had understood. Therefore, I was trying my best to be happy whatever she could provide for me. She lived in remoted area, we had to walk majority of the time in order to go somewhere…after a few days, the sneakers hurt my feet badly! I was trying to hide my feet the part which injured, I was limping sometimes, I believe she knew about my feet and its problem, but she couldn’t do anything about it.
My aunt and I were talking hours. We were happy, because she was alone there, after years I was the only nephew she had. She didn’t have anyone from her family in Tehran, that’s why she was so happy to have me. I was happy as well, because, now I was in Tehran, where I could feel safety, there were no Taliban, neither other radical groups. I could watch TV now, especially, the cartoon of tom and jerry. I used to watch it a lot and enjoyed it. they had electricity 24 hours; their lives were different from my family. Moreover, their children were going to school, and they had some bakeries around them, the bread was awesome! I used to eat it without, anything else, it was so delicious for me, I was eating too much bread, because hadn’t had this kind of bread entire of my life! I couldn’t believe to have this kind of bread, and I could eat it as much as I could, which was amazing for me. But now I was worried about my aunt, because her husband had paid the money for me to Ebrahim, in majority parts of Afghanistan man’s finger is on the bottom in the family! What I mean by that? Well in our culture, women don’t have any authority, in the family. Whatever, men want to do women don’t have power to stop them. Therefore, I was thinking about my aunt, if her husband bothers her because of the money, sometimes I could hear them to talk about me, they thought I’m too weak for work, and who is going to hire me as a worker? Somehow it was true, I was so thin, weak, and naive, they were so worried about me and their money. Moreover, I didn’t have ID, police could deport me anytime to Afghanistan, which was a nightmare for me.
My aunt and her husband worked at brick kiln. Working at brick kiln is one of the hardest works in Iran, because they bake the brick into kiln in traditional way. Now they were trying their best to find a job for me! Their boss didn’t hire someone who wasn’t professional, my aunt and her husband were asking their relatives, acquaintances, and neighbors for a job for me, but they couldn’t find the job. Therefore, I was so worried now about the finding a job! They had one room, for entire of the family, my aunt and husband used to go to work at 3 A.M. until late at night, they just came for lunch a short time, their two sons were outside majority of the time. So, only Fatima their daughter was home half of the day, I wasn’t comfortable with Fatima at home, I thought her parents were worried about her to be alone with me at home, Fatima was quite busy with her home works and cooking food, she didn’t pay attention to me at all and never talk to me though, but still I wasn’t comfortable with her to be alone at home. I was trying to spend my time outside of the home as much as I could, but I couldn’t go far because of police, there was a great fear that I could have been caught by police, there is a mosque, I used to go into it if it was opened, in order to spend my time, now it was hard for me to stay at their home, I thought I’m a big burden for them! And I was thinking 24/7 about the money which I owed.
My aunt’s husband had a stepmom who lived so far away. They called her grandma, one day the grandma came, she said I know a man who is from Mazar Sharif, he lives alone at a village, he is willing to share his room with you, it would be good for both of you, because the rent wouldn’t be expensive for you guys. We were so happy about this room, my aunt cooked a delicious food for grandma, we ate the food and then my aunt gave me a blanket with mattress, and a little money. Therefore, I went with grandma to the village, where the man lived, after almost two hours we arrived there, the man seemed a nice guy, his name was Khan Mohammad, but people called him Khan, grandma talked to Khan about me and my situation, Khan promised to grandma that everything will be fine. Grandma went back to her home, I was living with Khan, it was good, because I wasn’t alone with Fatima at home anymore, which used to bother me a lot. Now I had my own room, which had a good feeling, after a few days I talked with Khan, and asked him how I can find a job? He said no worry, I can help you to find a job. One day Khan came and said tomorrow we are going to work together; I was so happy about it! But worried a little bit because, I never worked before. Tomorrow we ate our breakfast, and went to work, it was supposed to we work at a farm for someone, the farmer gave us shovels, we had to shovel the farm and weed it simultaneously. Khan showed me, but since it was my first time, I made mistakes a few times, then the owner came and saw mistakes, he kicked me out of his farm, and took his shovel from me. Khan talked with the owner but it didn’t work, I was sitting outside of his farm, because couldn’t go back alone, I didn’t know the address, so I waited there for Khan, when Khan finished his job, we came back together, the first day of my work in Iran I failed.
Khan used to work for different people. I went with him several time for working, for different people, but it didn’t work. Some of them didn’t let me work at the beginning, some kicked me out after a short time, and some let me work but didn’t give me my paycheck. Therefore, I became disappointed, isolated, bitter, hopeless, and confused. In fact, I didn’t know what to do? The little money which my aunt gave me finished, it was about a month I was there now, I had to pay the bills and rent of room, but I didn’t know how to pay them? I didn’t have money to buy bread for myself. So, Khan was disappointed about me as well, because he tried several times to find a job for me, but I let him down, because I didn’t know how to work with a shovel, and how to shovel? but I had to do something! I used to go outside, and roaming around. One day I saw some women on the farm, they were weeding tomato, and eggplant, they were afghan migrants, I talked with them, about their job, and paycheck, they explained that they are getting 250 Tomans, per day, men paycheck was 500 Tomans per day, women paycheck was about half of men, but their job seemed easier. I was thinking whether I can work with these women or not? They had small garden shovels for uprooting the weeds. Their boss came, I couldn’t understand, Iranian language, so I asked one of the women translate for me, I asked their boss to give me job, with the same paycheck of a woman, he agreed and I started to work, but he understood that I’m not a professional at weeding, he told me that you can’t work, give me the shovel and go, but I asked again for lower paycheck, I said give me 150 Tomans per day instead of 250, he let me continue, but he asked women to be careful about me, and check what I’m doing regularly.
At the end of the day the farmer didn’t give me money. But he said tomorrow come again, I didn’t understand, what he meant, I asked, from women on the way, that why he didn’t give my paycheck? And he asked me to come again, they told me that it means, he wants you to continue your job, and he will pay all at the end when his work finish. Therefore, I was so happy, because he accepted me to continue my job, but I didn’t have a penny, in my pocket, I came to my room, and talked with my roommate, he was happy about my job as well. Moreover, Khan lend me a little money, I could buy bread now, I continue the weeding a few days, we finished his work, then he distributed our money, I gave my money to one of those women, to count it for me, because I didn’t know about Iranian Toman, she said it the right amount, then I took it and went to my room, I gave Khan his money, which I borrowed from him. Also, there was some money left for myself, I didn’t pay my bills and rent of my room though, but I was quite happy, because somehow, I learned how to weed. So, I continued to work with women, but lower paycheck, we used to work in a small village, all people knew each other, after a while majority of them understood that I’m working with women but lower paycheck. But I was happy, now I could earn some money for my food, and my knowledge was increasing about agriculture. Khan had a bicycle, if our jobs were close, we used to go on his bicycle, I didn’t know how to ride a bicycle, he usually pick me up, he was good at ridding bicycle, our vehicle was his bicycle, he could carry himself with another person on his bicycle easily.
We were far from town. Whenever, we needed something, Khan used to bring stuffs from town on his bicycle. After a few months, I had understood that, I can’t safe any money, I just was able to earn enough for my eating. But I had to pay for bills and rent of the room, I didn’t know what to do? Moreover, I owed 240,000 from my aunt’s family. However, I was trying my best to save some money, but it seemed impossible. Also, there was another problem, a high number of farmers were addicted to opium, the addiction made them poor! They had farms and they wanted to have income from their farms, but they couldn’t pay for workers. On the other hand, they knew that we don’t have ID, if the police caught us, they would deport us to Afghanistan. Therefore, any of them didn’t want to pay my money, he just could have told me that if you ask me your money again, I would let the police know that you are here, if they threatened me like this, I wasn’t able to ask my paycheck again, unfortunately some of them didn’t pay me at all, some paid half of my paycheck, and some paid a little bit of it. I couldn’t do anything against them, because I was living illegally. Now it was almost the harvest time of barley, somehow, I knew how to work with sickle, I used to work with it when I was a shepherd. We bought two sickles, one for Khan another for me, we got one-hectare barley its reaping and collecting it in the center of the farm. The owner of barley had to pay 8,000, those days there were not many combines, we used to reap the barley and wheat with sickle. We started to reap the first hectare barley. The good point about reaping was we didn’t have boss, I mean we spoke 8,000 for one hectare, there was no anyone to care about us that we work or not, it was supposed to we reap and collect this one hectare, then the owner had to pay. So, the time wasn’t important for owner, if we could finish it in one day, or one month, he would pay 8,000.
It took long time. because, it was the first time for me, Khan was better than me about reaping, because he was a grown man, and he lived in Iran for a long time, he knew how to work and deal with people. We finished the first hectare barley and took 8,000 money. Then we got another three hectares, this time we pushed ourselves harder, we used to reap during the day, and collect them during the night. Therefore, we usually bought bread from village, then we ate it with tomato at the farm, there were a lot of tomato around us. We didn’t pay for tomato, we used to steal it from farmers. The barley was so heavy, we had to carry it on our back, and collect it in one place, but after sometimes, my shoulders had a great pain! When we came back in our room, I looked at the mirror my shoulders were bloody, it the place of rope, which I had to tie barley and then tie the rope on my shoulders, in order to carry it at the center of the farm. But reaping barley had more money than weeding, which was good for me. We woke up around 4 A.M. reap until 8 P.M. then we usually started to collect the barley, if the moon was up there to have a little light. Sometimes, we were collecting the barley until midnight, then we lay down, it was supposed to have a rest about 30 minutes there in the farm, when we woke up it was almost 8-9 A.M. we were exhausted, we couldn’t control our waking up. When we woke up, we used to laugh at each other, because it was supposed to, we sleep 30 minutes, but it was hours since we slept. My shoulders were bothering me, I was trying to change the place of rope on my shoulders, but it didn’t really work! Sometimes my shoulders were bloody, my clothe used to stuck on it, it was hard to continue, but I had to work hard.
Now it’s almost summer. The weather is more than 40 centigrade, we had to work hard under sunshine, because we needed money badly! It was the harvest season for tomato and eggplant, we used to collect the tomato and eggplant during the day. Khan fell in love with his cousin, but her dad wanted a big money from Khan, as I have mentioned earlier, afghan’s people have this tradition, groom must pay a big money to bride’s family. Therefore, Khan had to pay a big money to her dad! So, he had to work as hard as he could, to earn enough money for his wedding… I needed also a big money, that’s why we had to work as hard as possible. However, we tried so hard that summer, but I couldn’t save much money, because I couldn’t find job every day in the farm, if I was lucky I could work approximately 16-17 days in a month, but now I could pay my bills and the rent of the room which Khan and I used to live. We continued reaping barley until it finished, we started to reap wheat. Sometimes, it was impossible to reap the wheat at noon, because the weather was too hot. Khan was the one who made decision; he said that” it would be better for us to have a rest at noon. So, we used to rest about an hour or a little more at noon, but I didn’t have a rest, because I wanted to learn bicycle. I asked Khan to give me his bicycle at noon that I can practice on it, but he loved his bicycle; he said no I can’t do it because my bicycle is going to be destroy. He was right though; I asked him again but with different strategy; I promised to him that if I destroy any part of it, I will pay for it. He accepted, but there was another problem, his bicycle was 28 which was too big for me. Therefore, I started to learn bicycle at noon while Khan was resting. The sunshine couldn’t stop me, because I wanted to learn it badly. Ever though I was exhausted at noon, and the weather was super-hot; I had learned it after a while.
It was almost the end of summer, also it was the time for thrashing the barley and wheat but working on the thrasher machine wasn’t easy for me at that age! However, it had the highest paycheck among the jobs in agriculture. Therefore, we started to work on thrasher machine which works with tractor, since early morning we had to pour the wheat or barley into thrasher until evening, we had to cover whole our bodies and faces, with something, except our eyes, there was a lot of dust, even though, we used to cover our months, but our spits color were absolutely dark! And when we got home, inside of our noses were full of dust, also it was dangerous for our eyes, especially whenever the weather was windy! We didn’t have glasses as a kind of protection. We couldn’t stop the work even for a few minutes, because there was specific job for each of us, if one of us wasn’t there all had to stop working which was impossible. We were sweating all day long, and used to wash our clothes every evening, because of too much sweat every day. I had a severe pain in my body at the beginning for a few days, because I hadn’t had this kind of job before in my life. However, I could save some money now working on thrasher. One day the grandma came, to find out that how am I, I was happy to see her, she told me that your aunt misses you, she wants to see you, we went to my aunt home, we were happy to see each other again! The grandma and I were there for lunch, then I gave a small part of the money to my aunt which I owed her. She was happy about that little money, because she didn’t expect me to find job and save money.
We didn’t have TV, radio, and cellphone those days. In that village only Khan’s uncle had a small, black and white TV, Khan’s uncle was quite popular in that village because of his TV. There was TV series by name of water margin (outlaws of the marsh) it had been made by Japan and China cooperation. It was the most popular TV program those days. Majority of afghan migrants in that village used to go to Khan’s uncle home on Monday-night. In order to watch water margin, the TV didn’t have a good signal, some part of it was dark and other were lighter, sometimes it was hard to understand what is going on. There was always signal problem! But this serial was important for many those days. Tehran had only two TV channels, there were not many who had TV in that era! I couldn’t wait to watch water margin on Monday-nights, it was the first time for me to watch a serial. Even though I worked so hard, during the day, sometimes I couldn’t eat my dinner, I slept without dinner, because I was exhausted. But, on Monday-night I couldn’t sleep without watching water margin. My life was getting easier, now I knew how to cook egg, and some other stuffs, I had learned from Khan. So, I used to cook food for myself once a day, we didn’t have fridge, when I cooked, I had to eat it, otherwise, it could be spoiled very soon, because the weather was hot. But I was quite happy to cook for myself delicious egg, which I wished to have it since my childhood! Having one-time meal was awesome for me, two other time a day I could enjoy eating naan bread, and other stuffs, in my childhood I used to have meal once a month, that’s why I was so happy by having a meal per day. Now the only problem was the money which I owed from my aunt’s family! I had to pay it back to them as soon as possible. Therefore, it was bothering me whenever I was thinking about my aunt who could be beaten by her husband because of this money. Since, I knew that women don’t have any power in the families, in afghan culture, that’s why I was worried about my aunt! But I couldn’t do much for her, I was trying my best to not buy clothe and shoes for myself, before I pay her money completely.
Now it was almost fall season. It was hard to find any kinds of job in the village, there wasn’t any activities about agriculture. So, we had to do something about the winter, which was coming soon, because at the winter in agriculture part there is almost no job. In fact, we were jobless now which was a disaster for both of us, there were some factories around us, we usually went for finding a job to those factories during day, but some of them couldn’t hire us, due to fear of government, because government is punishing those factories which are employing afghan’s migrants. Therefore, we couldn’t find job in majority of those factories. Somehow, we were disappointed, and we went to different aviculture and dairy farms. After a long time, we found job at a dairy farm, it had one small room for both of us, were happy about it, because now we had a room and job for our winter. But, after a while we understood that this small room doesn’t belong to us, our boss and his friends used our room for using opium, they used to stay there late at night, we couldn’t sleep while they were there. Moreover, we used to get dizziness from smoke of cigarette and opium, because Khan and I weren’t smokers, and we hate smoke. But we couldn’t do anything about our room which was full of smoke majority of the time. On the other hand, the weather became quite cold, we couldn’t stay outside of the room for long time. We had been there for almost one month, we talked with our boss about the room’s problem, but he said this is what it is. We were trying to find a solution, so we made our decision to quit the job it wasn’t easy for us though. We told our boss that we want to quit the job, he said” no problem, stay one more week I can find other workers then go. However, we stayed one more week, but he didn’t give our paychecks, he told us” go I will pay you, we came for our money several times, but he didn’t give our money; we couldn’t do anything against him.
We went back at the same village we were. We found a small room to rent, small room was good because the oil was so expensive, in order to keep it warm we didn’t need much oil. We were searching for another job; after a while we found one. There was a chemical factory, for detergent stuffs. There was a huge mill, which was for grinding stones. Iranian workers weren’t willing to work on that mill, because it was outside of the factory, under sunshine, rain, snow, and dusty place. We got the job; we were so happy about it. We started our job at the factory, and it was supposed to grind the especial stone, which they used to bring from mine. Since, it was the first time for us to work with a huge mill; it was dangerous for us! It had a big conveyor belt, some mill belts, and many hummers. Moreover, the electricity wasn’t stable those days, several times a day we were facing problem, in order to not have electricity. The main problem was, when we were working on the mill, the power outage caused a lot of problem. For instance, we had to open the mill; clean inside of it completely, after each power outage which took at least one hour. We had a contract with the factory; it was supposed to mill approximately 1,000 tons stone to get 120,000 Tuman. However, 120,000 was a big money, but grinding stone wasn’t easy. It was the beginning of winter; there was sometimes, rain, snow, and windy weather. But we didn’t think about obstacles, what we used to think was 120,000. There was a driver who worked on a loader; his job was to help Khan and me. The stones were too big; it was impossible for human to move them. The name of driver is Rajab, he ought to bring the stone by loader at the top of the mill; where was a big place for stone. After Rajab brought the stones over there, we had to break them into small pieces with our sledgehammers; push them into mill spontaneously. Our purpose was to finish that 1,000 tons as soon as possible; in order to get our money. However, the weather was cold, rainy, windy, and snowy. But we couldn’t understand how the time was passing. It was supposed to we work there 8 hours per day, but we want to work more than 8 hours. But there was a problem about it, because Rajab had a fixed paycheck per month, so he didn’t want to stay longer than 8 hours. We usually bought cigarette for him to stay longer or bring more stone close to mill that we could threw the stone into mill with shovels, and work after he was gone. If he brought more stone close enough to mill; we could break them and throw them into mill. Sometimes I felt sleepy on the mill, which was quite dangerous for me. If I fell into mill; I would be grinded very soon. I knew the danger of mill, but I couldn’t control myself sometimes. We were exhausted; we were breaking the stone from early in the morning until late night. At the beginning our hands were full of calluses. But after a while the skin of our hands got thicker.
We were facing some other problems. The police, insurance company, and other governmental organizations, whenever one of them came into factory; we had to escape beforehand. If government understood that we work, there; they would deport us to Afghanistan as soon as possible. Also, it could have cost the factory a big money to pay to government as a fine. Therefore, the factory was cooperating with us; they used to let us know that the government is there. We used to escape somewhere for a while until the factory send someone after us. After a long time, we finished the 1,000 tons stone. We were so happy! Khan got the money; he gave me 50,000 Tuman. He took 70,000 it wasn’t supposed to like that, but he did it. I was a little bit upset about the money that Khan took more than me. But I couldn’t do anything about it. We continued working on the mill. Somehow, we had learned how to work on it; we were hard workers among of those workers in the factory. Now the owner understood that we are working very hard. We were there during the winter, it was good for us. There were many people who were jobless during the winter, they used to work at the farm in the summer; they were sleeping at winter, which is so common in Afghanistan. More than 90% of those workers were afghan’s migrants in those villages. Many of them didn’t have ID that’s why they prefer to live in the villages; in order to not deport to Afghanistan. The possibility of being caught by police is lower at the village, the reason that many afghan migrants are living in the villages is fear of police.
It was our new year in Persian calendar. New year is the longest public holiday in Iran during a year, majority of those workers were going to a vacation. On the other hand, the owner of the factory didn’t want to stop entire of the factory. He wanted to keep active some important parts of the factory. Therefore, he asked Khan and me to stay at another part of the factory which was more important; during the new year holiday, and he promised a good paycheck to us. We were happy about it, and we promised him to stay during the holiday. The recommendation was so tempting for us, because he told us that he is going to count every 6 hours two day’s full paycheck. So, it was short time during the holiday, but good opportunity for us to work as hard as possible and earn more money. We started working to another part of the factory during of the holiday. There were some advanced machines, and those machines had to work 24/7, but they were dangerous for workers. They could have killed the workers in a blink of an eye! We had to be so cautious, about the danger of them. But the problem we had was sleeplessness; we sometimes used to work 36 hours none stop. Therefore, staying awake was impossible sometimes! We were sure that if we fall into those powerful mixers we would die as soon as possible, but sometimes our eyes were closed for a short time, which was so scary for us on the top of those powerful machines. I had understood one thing there, that it’s impossible sometime to control our sleep. Even though, there was a strong possibility for me to be changed to minced meat, but I did sleep several times on the top of those machines, for a few seconds, which was a nightmare for me. Whenever, I’m thinking about those moment, my hairs stand. We continued working as hard as possible until the end of public holiday.
It was spring season. The season which I love so much, Tehran has four seasons. In spring there is rain sometimes, the weather is mild, birds are singing everywhere, all hills wear their green clothes, and we can find flowers everywhere. One day I saw the grandma came after me, she asked me to visit my aunt. In new year holiday people are going to each other homes to visit, friends, relatives, parents, grandparents, neighbors, bosses, colleagues and beloved. I went to my aunt’s home with the grandma; I was there for a few days. I enjoyed being at my aunt house, because this time I brought a big part of her money. My aunt and her family were happy about their money, which I gave them back after one year. Still I owed them some money, but not as much as before. Now I was quite optimistic that I can pay their money in future completely; my aunt was happy as well, because she knew that I can work and save money. When I came to Iran; I was a big burden for my aunt. she didn’t think that I can find a job or someday save money; more important she was thinking about the money which her husband paid for me. Now all of us were happy, because I paid almost 75% of their money. I will never forget the cooperation of the grandma who found room and a good roommate for me! She helped me a lot during the first year in Iran. If the grandma wasn’t there; I wouldn’t find a room with a good roommate, and job easily.
I continued working with Khan at the farm. We used to work in south of Tehran, the harvest season for tomato and eggplant almost finished there, but Khan had known someone in north of Tehran, Khan acquaintance came to our room one day, and he asked Khan and me to go with him at the north of Tehran where the season of harvesting for tomato and eggplant just started. Therefore, we went to north of Tehran, there was farmer his name was Amry Alla, which means God’s command, and he had a lot of land. Amry Alla had four children, two sons and two daughters. One of his sons is Hussein who got married at the time, another one is Hassan who was roughly fifteen, somehow, we were at the same age. Amry Alla gave us a small room for free to stay, but he was paying lower paycheck to us. Khan and I worked for him for a few months, Khan had an argue with our boss, then our boss fired Khan. It was the first time for me to be alone in Iran, but I didn’t have a serious problem to be alone. I found some acquaintances among afghan migrants over there. It was the end of harvest of tomato and eggplant at north of Tehran as well, but my boss had some sheep, and he told me to take them to the farm, he was paying a little money about it to me. The winter was coming, I didn’t know what to do? In the new village there wasn’t any factory, aviculture, and dairy farm, that I could work there during the winter. Moreover, I couldn’t go outside of the village, because of police. So, I waited there at that village during the winter, which was hard for me, because I had to spend from the little money I had saved in summer. I was trying my best to not spend much money, but I had to buy oil to keep my room warm enough and buy enough bread to be survived.
This winter was boring for me. I was alone at my room, and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have phone, radio, cassette player, and TV. I wanted to do something useful, but I couldn’t do anything. I had a kind of bad feeling about it; I didn’t know how to spend my time. All of afghan migrants who lived there, they were families. I was the only one who didn’t have family, sometimes it was hard for me to be alone. I couldn’t go to visit my aunt, because she was far. Moreover, Iranian government was deporting hundreds of afghan migrants every month; I could have been one of them. That’s why I couldn’t go to visit my aunt so often; the way to her home had checkpoint. I met a boy among afghan migrants, his name is Mourad. Occasionally, he used to come to my room; I was so happy to have him. He usually came to my room when the weather was rainy or snowy, otherwise, he could go somewhere else. He had ID and he was free to go anywhere; he had many friends, and relatives because he grew up there. He stopped going to school, because of financial issue. Mourad was working on the farm as well, that’s why we became friends. After sometimes Mourad and I became good friends; we had been together while he couldn’t go anywhere else. Mourad had one older brother and five sisters, his dad passed away, but his mom was alive. His big brother got married, and his name is Ishaq. Occasionally, Murad invited me to his home, whenever, his big brother went to his father in law’s home. It was the first time for me to see the TV which its picture wasn’t black and white; it was enjoyable for me to see the movie on it.
The Story of Najib 